The place of women in our society in the background of men

Dr. Avinuo Chüpuo

Condillac, a philosopher who contributed a lot in the outbreak of French Revolution in the 18th century believed that the basis of all the works of mankind is selfishness. So it would not be wrong to quote after him that “Men were, therefore, perfect animals and animals were imperfect men.” Every society is a selfish society. For example, in religious institution like in churches, some leaders are selfish and this can never be a wrong statement, and God and the humble Christians knows well but we are not to judge. George Irwin, an International Bible Teacher, in a seminar “Spiritual Awakening for Great Commission” stated that today’s Reverends in short Rev. stands for “Rest Eat and Visit.” Here, most of us would agree with him as we see the selfishness of our idle leaders in many zones. In politics, the scale of selfishness is not hidden from the publics’ faces that are hungry by feeding them. This is just an example because we still have a morsel of good men out there with religious or secular duties. But if we compare the state of women becoming selfish with the state of men’s selfishness then I would rather say men are more selfish when it comes to the position of women in the society. When a Theologian impregnates a woman – the fallen Theologian escapes from hundred questions but the so called/indicated selfish and careless woman carrying his child listens to a thousand of queries in all her nine months pregnancy, after delivery, and throughout her life. I am sure this had happened to some women out there because our society is not Holy. It is said that God calls the imperfect but in a society like ours where pure colours of Christianity is drooping one doesn’t need such selfish preachers for we are giving birth to namesake Christians and not God fearing people. A preacher who does not pay his tithes tells the congregation to either give cheerfully or he will be forever silent on this topic. This is also a place where we see the role of men, what type of believers/generations would develop from such a people? Unfaithful faith, unfaithful governance.
There are men who takes women as mere toys. The article titled “Of rape, moral policing, male chauvism and customary laws.” written by one Keyicaulang Meru (Dated 18-06-2015, Nagaland Post) shows that there are people out there who cares for women. Various writers blessed with better writing skill and knowledge must never stop writing on the issue of women and their upliftment for there are so many grievances left unaddressed when it comes to women’s right. My message to menfolks is that being a man, “being human” is also necessary. In men, the absence of ‘being human’ quality has failed them to respect women committing anti-social activities to the extent of raping them. Village is as old as our culture, we are all originated from a village, the picture out there- When a mother is away from home – fetching water, working in field, collecting firewood/fodder etc., there is a little girl at home (or in the field) who would be cuddling and taking care of her younger sibling/brother. The burden of this little girl goes unnoticed, taking it as a part of our culture though she misses her friends playing freely during their free time. So dear brother, if you have had such a sister in your childhood days who took care of you and/or if you believe that you were borne of a woman and respect her then being human you don’t have the right to rape your own sisters (other’s sisters), mothers, aunts, grandmother or your own offsprings or make them weep. A popular video message teaches parents and us all where we are going wrong by telling our boys that ‘boys do not cry’ even when they are hurt. What we visualizes and if we ponder upon it then may be we have taught our young boys not to cry and have unintentionally taught/groomed them not to cry from their childhood days and have given birth to a society with emotionless men. In so many cases when a man had an ugly past but if he is a changed man in the present, he is applauded but the quantum of that feeling are not applied on women. In disputes, the bad past of a woman makes her case weak because the public, the so called learned judges or relatives does not value her present – a changed woman. I do not have any grudges against anybody but I have witnessed that a woman was molested by a drunkard (they were strangers), there was a meeting held, and the culprit pardoned and the chapter closed. But my observation was that this case was a big issue but pondering on the woman’s past, her present stand, her right, and a mother was undermined, just because of who she was in the past and the society is blinded to see her as a changed woman in the present. If we are to amend our customary laws free of prejudices concerning womenfolk then ask the victim with different burdens, ask her not men, listen to her what she wants to envisage in the laws for the betterment of the society and let the educated authority do the rest. We are still debating- our customary laws are not perfect. Let not patriarchy erase the importance of a woman, she cannot just be your cook, or tea maker in your respected meetings. She is special.
Believers do not mind – but when a man repents in front of his people in the church then he is highly accepted than the sobbing mother who needs a hug from you or me. They say that a woman who cries at night and smiles in the morning is a strong woman but so many a times men fails to understand womens’ feelings considering them as selfish or as mere nature of women. Let us count every blessing not just one. God exists.
Dear men-folks this is for you, Voltaire said “Worship God and be a good man.” In the book of Proverbs we find that “The Lord detests dishonest scales, but accurate weights find favor with him.’ The crazy greedy butchers in our Christian state won’t pay heed to this so being a woman I would love to apply this in support of women asking men not to have a dishonest scale in treating women kindly. Let her proudly say “behind my success there is a man/my man.” Do not ever tell women in the streets that they are ‘commercial items’ for I was told by a shopkeeper in Dimapur that I was purely a ‘commercial item’ though my dressing was not skimpy at all. About the dressing sense we are very much advanced than others but being a fashionable woman does not mean you dress or grab everything in the market without knowing whether it matches you or not. Though I do accept that we dress according to locations and occasions and that is part of being chic, but decency in the simplest form is also necessary and it is a message to those who does not see the shopkeepers’ intentions. In many a times the shopkeeper is not talking to you, but looking at you when you bend down. Otherwise, we are all free to dress our own way at the end of the day. I came across an article last year on how our women dress and acts in front of the shopkeepers just to bargain and get the new commodities in the market. Mothers/women must not forget the importance of your shawl or scarfs around your front. When you go to market places you are busy collecting the goods while the shopkeeper’s or the vendor’s focus is somewhere else. It is factual and facts are hesitantly written and bitter too.
Whether you are alone or with male companions women are not safe. The word ‘item’ does not mean anything wrong in schools and functions or anywhere in the world but the Bollywood lovers uses this word in a derogatory manner to pass comments on women’s chastity. Which one are you? the perfect man or the perfect animal? Or are we trying to seek help from the animal that is an imperfect human to stop the enough wrongs he has done to us? Even the wild animal in the wild has a female or a mother in their life.
Dear women-folks, do not discourage yourself for being a woman. Do not envy mens’ freedom but free yourself from the clutches of considering yourself weak for we are all born free. God felt our importance so he created us. Let us not be the scarecrow in a cucumber field that cannot speak, that cannot walk. Do not lose hope for if we lose hope it will be our real disaster. Be proud to be women and not mere gossipers. Mother Teresa said, “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” Remember, we do not have a father Teresa out there to be compared with her wonderful examples set to us and to the world. Remember, Florence Nightingale (The Lady with the Lamp) in the Crimean war she was not a man but took an important share. Do not give up, for a manuscript says, “Do not give up. Normally it is the last key on the ring which opens the door.” No one is perfect, but being a woman, we have more appealing qualities in us than men to show our perfectness that is why God created us. Without grudges let us all live and be called “the lady with the lamp.’ Don’t give up.
(This article is dedicated to all the women-folks out there – a little voice raised. To all the lovely men I made friends with, and for their forever supports bestowed upon me, still standing for me and with great virtue in keeping the confidence too. God created the man first then the woman but all men born thereafter is born as a baby from her. Do not forget your roots and respect each other.)