Narcissism in Our Society

By Theja Solo (EMN) Of all the other social problems in today’s modern life, human science has taken a great leap regarding the study of human behavior and psychology. NPD or narcissistic personality disorder, according to Dr. Meyers, is “a mixture of formation of human behavior which can be related to personality trait, a flaw and heredity.” NPD can be within a family/families and social. In simple words it can be seen as “me, myself and I,” disregarding any other importance of others and mainly working on own self-image. According to analysis of Preston Li, narcissistic parent can be defined as “someone who lives through, is possessive of, and/or engages in marginalizing competition with their offspring.” Usually, the narcissistic parent assumes the independence of a child, including adult children, as a threat. These types of parents intimidate their children to the point of complete submission, having unreasonable expectations. In a narcissistic parenting relationship, the child is rarely loved just for being herself or himself. William Blake (1757 - 1827) in his poem”The clod and the pebble” describes the NPD behavior.

Love seeketh only Self to please, To bind another to its delight, Joys in another’s loss of ease, And builds a Hell in Heaven’s despite.

It's important to distinguish certain parent-centric tendencies from chronic narcissistic parenting. Many parents want to show off their children, have high expectations, may be firm at times (such as when a child is behaving destructively), and desire their offspring to make them proud. None of these traits alone constitute narcissism. What distinguishes the narcissistic parent is a pervasive tendency to deny the offspring, even as an adult, a sense of independent self-hood. The offspring exists merely to serve the selfish needs and machinations of the parent(s) or narcissistic elders. Some of the signs of narcissistic parents according to behavioral study are: Narcissistic parents feel threatened by offspring’s potential, promise, and success, as they challenge the parent’s self-esteem. Narcissistic parents might discourage child in the effort of remaining superior. Many narcissistic parents have a false self-image about their own superiority and grandiosity. They are very manipulative on siblings and perceive love as conditional reward rather than the natural expression of healthy parenting. They show extreme lack of empathy to the child’s own thoughts and feelings. Narcissistic parents expect their children to take care of them for the rest of their lives. This type of dependency can be emotional, physical, and/or financial. While there’s nothing wrong with taking care of older parents she or he may become extremely jealous at any sign of the child’s growing maturity and independence. These activities may provide the narcissist the stimulation, validation, and self-importance for she or he craves, and a case of mental disorder of bullying and false supremacy. It spreads its venom to every part of the family and destroys relationships. There are individuals within these families, who grow up to be genuine, strong and productive human beings. The best defense is to learn as best as you can to know the narcissistic person and take good care of yourself. NPD may be an unexpected and hidden psychological problem already deeply rooted in our families and social life with its multiple head speaking and professing in falsehood and superiority, in different tunes, which can be very destructive if not understood and dealt with in time.