Just as I am

Benito Z. Swu [dropcap]D[/dropcap]o please excuse me, this one time, for this selfish article beginning with “I”, ending with “I”, and even with an “I” between the two “I’s”. I am just a nobody, but a somebody to myself. And I take pride in myself for my transparency. I am what I am. What you see is what you get. Since the passing away of my dad I have felt all the more orphaned than that feeling which was there even when my dad was alive. And sick. Today I know that my dad is in Heaven because he was transparent in everything that he did, and his conscience was as crystal clear as the misty droplets of the wintry early morning dew on the welcoming concave face of the not very old yam leaf or kutchu pata. I know, because I had spent many a solitary moments with him during his long illness.My dad’s last advise to me (which he actually rarely gave after my marriage) was to emulate him, no matter what will be said and done and follow up the Scripture verse, Psalm 118:8, by working on what he has left behind or risk losing even that if I persisted with the lifestyle that I lived with, then.Also I am so very proud and thankful to be the recipient of the ever life-giving lessons grounded on the, oh! So simple regular verse of a seven word sentence ever uttered; “Man does not live by bread alone”. The insight and the belief in just being what one is, is the reality of truth that I have been blessed to have found, and which can never be superimposed but with the exception of Christ. Will I be left alone to fend for myself? So be it. The transparency and the barrenness usually felt by some, as of the freedom of thought and the freedom of the faith and belief is what I value and cherish today and will take it to my life’s end. It does not at all bother me in the least. Infact I reveal in it. As it is, we just have a single life to live, and that is what I am advocating. What’s there to be stubborn? Neither am I stubborn, nor am I being particular. Neither am I searching for wealth, nor am I making or breaking. Neither am I trying to justify, nor am I trying to built trust. I am “just as I am”. I am just trying to do my bit to bring like minded people together, to make today at least a little bit better than yesterday for the less fortunate. To try and cajole our leaders to act. That people committing sin because of our sin, is a greater sin. That enough is enough, that a line has to be drawn. That the frown on the brow of the people in the street has to be replaced with atleast a thin line of a smile. That the people should atleast be given the opportunity to pick up those few fruits and nuts shaken down by the wind. That the unpenetrateable opaque politics of the old in playing God must be replaced with the ultra-violet filtering transparency of the new, where the public and their opinion is God. The lopsided view and concern that “the preservation of the intercontinental bird ‘Amur Falcon’ at the expense of, and turning a blind eye to local birds and animals which are on the brink of extinction as a brazen example of our dishonesty,” is in itself the height of hypocrisy and dishonesty. “Beating all odds to be stake holders in the preservation of the intercontinental bird is, no doubt, a noble venture in the right direction that we should encourage, because, that very act unknots the eyeblind and the cages of all our local birds and animals, which are on the brink of total blindness and lifelong captivity. Praise God, the future generation is certainly going to be very grateful. Some people say, “Love of self, as distinct from narcissistic tendency, is the code with which the DNA of all relationship is encoded. Nobody can rewrite this equation.” And Yours Truly says, “And the belief in this equation is the sum total of all the problems that we Nagas are saddled with today.” What so ever, I cannot but agree all the more with the saying that, “charity begins at home is a wisdom that still stands.” Allow me to conclude on a sweet note, as you hum with me this hymnal which is, and will always remain my favorite. Just as I am 1) Just as I am, without one plea, But that Thy blood was shed for me, And that Thou bid’st me come toThee, O Lamb of God, I come! I come! 2) Just as I am, and waiting not To rid my soul of one dark blot; To Thee whose blood can cleanse each spot, O Lamb of God, I come, I come! 3) Just as I am, though tossed about With many a conflict, many a doubt; Fightings within, and fears without, O Lamb of God, I come, I come! 4) Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind; Sight, riches, healing of the mind; Yes, all I need, in Thee to find, O Lamb of God, I come, I come! 5) Just as I am, Thou wilt receive, Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve; Because Thy promise I believe, O Lamb of God, I come, I come! 6) Just as I am, Thy love unknown Has broken every barrier down; Now, to be Thine, yea, Thine alone, O Lamb of God, I come, I come!