Sometimes we don’t realize how selfish we are. And there are times when we don’t realize how heartless we can be. We may not be selfish as far as our wants and material needs are concerned. The way I portray selfishness may not be acceptable to everyone. But the truth worth making known is that we are selfish by nature. Though we may not admit it that is what we are.The dictionary defines selfishness as wanting more than required. Our wants are given more priority than our needs. The way we live speaks a lot about the way we are. We often fail to realize our weaknesses because we don’t see ourselves as people sees us. You are not what you think you are but you become what people think you are. Even when you think you are not selfish, your own actions exposes your self centeredness.
Greed and selfishness are the two vices which are somewhat relevant to each other but vary in meaning. A greedy person longs for more than he or she gets while a selfish person thinks for the good of himself or herself than others. When we compare these two characteristics we find that they are controlled by the same spirit and possessed by the same vices. Everything that is bad is a sin and every attitude that is sinful is a crime.
The very reason I was stirred to write this is to expose my own weaknesses and selfishness. I wouldn’t have known that grieving over my own sins was selfishness had it not being for the conviction of the spirit. I was a man passionate to do all that was good. I thought the way I had pledged was all that I needed to be victorious. No one will never how much Christ means to me, but the very thought that I kept hurting Him pricked me from within. Hurting the one I loved was the least thing I would do but that was what I did when I drifted faraway from His Word. I was left guilt strickened by my own actions. The convicting power of the Spirit was so strong that I couldn’t live with the sin in me. The moment I sinned I had to confess it at the instant. But as this continued confession of sin continued I finally realized that I had been too selfish. I was made aware of this when I was alone in my room one night. Though my pillow was soaked with tears I felt guilty for what I had been. I had been grieving over my own sins when I should had been grieving over the sins of others. I kept thinking only of myself, my sins and my short comings.
The very reason I was chosen and sanctified was that I would have a burden for the lost. I was anointed for no other reasons but to do His will. When it was revealed that was when I realized that I needed to change. I was made to see the millions of souls perishing when I had been grieving over my own sins. What ever my mistakes were I take the responsibility for the error committed. I finally pledged to the Lord that I will no longer grieve over my own sins but I will grieve over the sins of others. There were hearts that needed to be touched. There were souls that needed to be saved. And I was one among the appointed ones to carry out my duties. I was faltering when I should had been progressing. I was failing when I should had been fruitful because all that I had been doing was grieving over my own sins. That was my mistake. But the mistake I committed inspired me to be on the front lines. I had to be more like Christ who shed tears and blood on our behalf. I no longer cry over my own sins but I am convicted to grieve over the sins of others. That was what the Lord wanted me to be and I will do what the Lord wants me to do. Its not only about me but we as “The Church of Christ” have to be one in spirit as we pray for the lost. This is what we should do and the legacy of Christ is what we should follow. Trust me someday we as the Church of Christ will be rewarded for what we were in Him. Become more Christ like and we will be someday be united with Him.
