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DIMAPUR — From ‘love at first sight’ when they met in 1977 to being happily married for 43 years, 73-year-old Allen Longkumer and 69-year-old Aola Allen have had their fair share of triumphs and challenges in their personal lives as well as their professional lives as missionaries.
On Valentine’s Day, the couple offered a reflection on their enduring marriage and shared commitment to missionary work, in an interview with Eastern Mirror.
Sharing their story, the husband, Allen narrated that he was initially studying science but God had another plan and led him to study theology at the Kolkata Bible College.
“I was a village boy, so when I first went to the city, it was very unique for me," he said, recalling the first time he went to a metropolitan city in 1977. He said that his wife, Aola, was already there in the city by then, studying at the same college where he was admitted.
On the day he arrived in the city, Allen and his friends went to a restaurant to have lunch, and it was there that he met Aola who was also there for a meal with her friends. “It was love at first sight for me," he recalled.
After finishing their studies, the couple married in 1981 and was later blessed with two children. However, their journey to marriage was not straightforward.
Aola recalled that their parents initially opposed their marriage, saying that they were too young as she was 26 and Allen was 29 at the time. However, after explaining their commitment to each other, their parents relented.
Following their marriage, the couple embarked on missionary work, spending several years living in several places including the Andaman Islands, Karnataka, Maharashtra, and West Bengal. It was only three years ago that they returned to Nagaland.
Aola said that they do not specifically celebrate Valentine’s Day because “every day is a special day to us.” But when they were living outside, they would go out to eat, visit parks, and have fun, cherishing the life that God has given to them.
They celebrate their wedding anniversary every year, which is on Dec. 29, and the most memorable was during their 25th anniversary, when many church leaders from Nagaland came to celebrate with them, she said.
Sharing about the challenges they face as a married couple, Aola shared that since they are working as missionaries, they have different visions and goals in life. Even in their personal relationships, they are both different human beings, and so sometimes they face conflicts.
However, by the grace of God, we overcome these challenges because at the end of the day, we come together prayerfully, she said, adding in jest, “During conflicts between us, I keep silent.”
Similarly, Allen shared that there are a lot of arguments and stumbling, but they have learned to overcome them by acknowledging that it is a human experience that one can learn from.
Aola added that, after coming to Nagaland, she has learned many more things about her husband that she had not known before. While living outside, we did not get the opportunity to own land, have our own house, and do the work for the family, so “with more work, there were more differences, but we overcame them,” she said.
The couple said that they came back to Nagaland to rest, but since they are committed to serving the Lord, they are ready to go anywhere if people need them. The best part about their marriage is serving the Lord together with the purpose of winning souls, the couple expressed, adding that even in the future, they want to continue to win souls for Christ, and that is their future goal.
Talking about the best part of being married to each other, Allen said, “I find my wife that she is capable of coping with anything that comes,” while the wife said, “He is hardworking and makes the right decision for us.”
Their advice to newly married couples
Their advice to married couples is that one should be a good forgiver. “As human beings, we should put God first, or if you are going to get married, get counselling from a good person who fears God, and then get married,” they said.
“In a married life, the couple should understand that no one is perfect and we have to go through all the tasks. Be a good communicator and share all your feelings, because only when you open up to one another will you understand your partner,” they advised.
“When you share, you learn from one another; when you share your failure, they will not laugh at you, but they will love you for that,” the couple added.
About handling conflicts between married couples, they advised that both parties should understand that they are humans and that everyone makes mistakes. “If you understand that, we can easily forgive and forget and go ahead. They should understand each other's weaknesses and that they need to move forward,” Allen and Aola said.
Instead of blaming each other, couples should introspect, see where they went wrong, and try to correct it. Further, one should humble down and accept their mistakes, and they both should be good forgivers, they added.
In conclusion, Allen recalled that they have met several youngsters who have worked with them since the 90s, and expressed the desire that these acquaintances would continue to maintain contact and stay in touch with them.