Mode of celebration may have come a long way but love, respect and honour remain the same’
Henlly Phom Odyuo
Dimapur, May 7 (EMN): The world may eulogise the love of a mother on Mother’s Day and other days but only mothers may truly understand and feel it. Motherhood teaches women lessons that they had never learned and bring them closer to their moms.
Sharing her feelings and experience to Eastern Mirror on the eve of Mother’s Day, which falls on May 8 this year, Vikhriezonuo Pucho, a music teacher and mother of a five-month-old daughter, said the biggest lesson she learned from motherhood was the value of her mom’s presence- the person who looked out for people and for her.
“Being a mother has made me realised that we (she and her mom) are both responsible in raising a generation. Motherhood never came in a manual; you had to learn on your own. Your own mother may not be able to fix your assignment,” she said.
She said that her mother reminds her daily with Biblical dos and don’ts in raising her child.
“It is not too difficult for me because I am reflecting my mother’s teaching while I was growing up with her,” said Pucho.
‘The role of a mother permeates everywhere we go. Suddenly, everything seems to be our responsibility,’ she added.
For Kevizenuo Dozo Kikhi, a mother of 3-year-old son and CEO of Agathos Society, the realisation that she would be getting only about four hours sleep during the night connected her to the struggle her mother went through.
‘The mother runs around working to keep the family together and happy. Now, I get it why my mother never had the time to pamper herself for which I often complaint to her and that made me realised that what she did, she did for us,’ she said.
The biggest lesson she learned after becoming a mother was her mom’s advice. She was told that “if we love our children, we not only pamper them but also correct them. My mom always told us that we have to use a thin stick, not to harm the child but to correct. Let it sting on the skin and the character will straighten. Love every child, be it the helper or your own, no one should be devoid of love and affection”.
“All the things that I do and say to my kid are channelled from my own mother. Nothing should change about the ways our mother raised us. They did their best and that’s what we should continue with. Generational gap or not, motherhood will forever remain the same with all the burdens and love and happiness that comes from it,” she shared.
‘The worry and the constant prayer in our mind that goes on and on- never experienced that before becoming a mother. Motherhood just changes you into protective mode and this is something about motherhood that I would not have known,’ Kikhi continued.
Dr. Langnyei, a veterinary doctor and a mother of one-year-old son, shared that entering into the phase of motherhood was an emotional journey, realising the huge responsibilities mothers shoulder both at home and in the society while taking care of children round the clock.
“My mom has always been my best friend, and now with motherhood, my respect and love for her has increased manifold. I have realised that it takes a tremendous balance for a woman to be herself and at the same time give herself so fully to another human being,” she said.
She said that in many aspects of parenting, she listened to the advice of her mom and also learned from her deeds.
“To always rise above my own emotional and physical state and be there for my child; to be always reassuring, strong and calm even though I may not feel this way at that particular moment- motherhood has been a humbling responsibility and this I would not have known if I was not blessed to be a mother,” she added.
Celebration may change but not essence
Dr. Langnyei said that way of honouring moms on Mother’s Day has come a long way “from giving Archies and Hallmark cards when we were kids at school, to forwarding Mother’s Day wishes on WhatsApp”.
‘Whatever the era we maybe, the love, respect and honour remain the same. Personally, it has become all the more meaningful now to celebrate motherhood together with all mothers everywhere from across the world,’ she observed, while encouraging women to enjoy motherhood and have personal fulfilment at the same time.
“In this generation, our children should not be the only source of our fulfilment. Motherhood is a unique journey to each woman and in this day and age, it’s easy to fall to the standards set by others, so discover yourself and live your own parenting experience,” she said.
Pucho said that the occasion has become “inclusive” today, unlike in the past.
“Those days, I and my siblings would fast till 12 pm on Mother’s Day as a gift to our mother (very exclusive); family-oriented. Today, things have changed but better. We get to celebrate Mother’s Day inclusively — our mother, mother-in-law, aunts, grandmothers, friends etc.” she said.
She said that motherhood is ministry wherein one teaches the little ones intentionally and unintentionally.
“To my mother and her generation, you are still playing an active role in this ministry. Whatever you have right now or have lost, live with gratitude and keep flaming the fan of grace,” she conveyed.
Meanwhile, Kikhi said that Mother’s Day celebration in her family has remained the same and she believed that it’s because “love always remain the same”.
“To my mother’s generation, I would like to say thank you for going through all the ups and downs and raising us without all the modern utilities that just cuts the work in half entirely. For the present generation mothers, keep on going, be strong and patient. We will forever be called mothers and that’s a title which is God’s greatest blessing. Wear the crown of being a mother with pride,” she said.
Also sharing her story, Roseline Debbarma Moktan, mother of two-year-old daughter from Kolkata said that the greatest lesson she learned as a mother is the selfless, sacrificial and unconditional love a mother has towards her child. ‘Her service has always been selfless yet goes unvalued and unappreciated. A mother always thinks first for her children, husband and family members without expecting for anything in return’, she expressed.
Moktan said that after becoming a mother, the practical lessons of life helped her to get connected with her mother as she conveyed “now, as a mother, I can relate myself with the sacrifices a mother has to go through. Sacrifice of her figure, career and opportunities”.
“I have realised how much a mother has to go through for her child and yet how ungrateful we become and often take her for granted. I now know that the pain and sacrifices a mother makes cannot be felt, unless we become a parent ourselves” she continued.
In my motherhood journey, I have absorbed my mother’s teaching to put God first in everything. To love, fear and honour God in all our endeavours which I shall pass on to my child, says Moktan while expressing that as a mother she has perceived how motherhood is a responsibility entrusted by God.
Before the era of technology and social media, Mothers’ Day was celebrated with the family members with gifts and good food. But these days, a mother’s day wish is limited to messages on social media or a phone call. Technology has brought distant people closer and drifted closer people away, she lamented while asserting that a flower given to a mother when she is alive is far better than a bouquet of flowers on her graveyard.
