By Monalisa Changkija
Success, linked to visible wealth, status and power, has always been highly prized in human society. In fact, this success is tied up to the identity of an individual in society, which probably is why there are expressions such as “the faceless masses” or inversely “a lion amongst men”, etc. This success divides “winners’ from “losers” therefore it is this success that drives parents to push their children to excellence in academics, music, sports and whatever the trend of the moment in success-achieving pursuits ~ never mind whether the children have the talent, the desire and the drive to pursue them. So, yes competitions and contests in academics, sports, music, fashion, etc., are big draws for parents. Consider parents’ pride or shame at their children’s school/college grades; little wonder then the financial and other lengths they would go to to ensure their children get top grades. For some parents, their children must get the same or better grades they got; for others, their children must get the grades they never got.
Possibly for some kids, their grades are not the be-all and end-all of their hopes and aspirations and they are quite content to live one day at a time. But since their parents wouldn’t have any of that, they are forced into being rats to run the race. A lot of parents lack the understanding that their children may not like or want to be a continuation or an extension of their parents and/or grandparents’ aspiration, worse still ambitions. The dynasty mindset isn’t confined only to a few spheres such as politics or business. And who cares that the younger lot have a totally different world-view and life-view? If we go by reports of an increasing rate of mental health issues amongst the younger generation in India and elsewhere, perhaps we don’t need to look too far.
Decades ago, there were very limited career and professional options, especially for girls but now the sky is the limit with the exponential advancements in technology, markets, etc. Unfortunately for a lot of parents today professional stability and high income prospects are vital hence the mad rush to top IITs, IIMs and medical schools. Side by side, the mad increase in mental health issues. Heck, today kids commit suicide just for a smartphone, so it may not be wrong to surmise that for some kids a smartphone connotes success. There are historical, socio-economic, even cultural and religious contexts, which have led to what we hold dear today therefore unsurprisingly but lamentable that wealth, status, power and now smartphones decide human self-esteem and imprisons us to several rungs and categories of success and failure. The prison within us is far more destructive and dangerous than that of race, geography, ideologies, belief-systems and ambitions.
So yes, we have commercialised and commoditised human existence and divided our lives into being idols or idolising, failing to realise that perceived success is not the entirety of an individual’s personhood. For instance, so many “successful”, “powerful”, “influential” people in the world of movies, music, sports, etc., have been tumbling down like Jack and Jill after the revelations of their moral turpitude and criminal activities ~ some of who now find themselves behind bars for years and years. No doubt, a lot more may have probably gotten away due to death or other reasons but this exposes the hollowness of what we perceive to be “success” and that is the part we often forget when we fail to link success to values. This is the part of upbringing and education parents and society often neglect, sometimes even ignore, and then lament their children’s choices ~ if in the first place children are given the liberty to make choices.
An increasing number of studies say that Gen Z is smarter than previous generations in terms of looking at life and the world differently. Some studies say that this generation have healthy perspectives on work-life balance and prefer to work less but smartly so that the corporate office and whatever workplace doesn’t consume their lives and loves. Even in an under-developed State like Nagaland, a lot of kids prefer not to be dictated by a structured office work timeframe. But these are kids that are aware of limitless options before them to earn and be self-reliant so they pursue online employment in the arts, music, fashion designing, food, YouTubing, etc. Obviously, these are kids that are well-versed with the latest technology has to offer, including AI. Unfortunately, government jobs are still the most favoured amongst parents therefore a lot of kids are denied the agency of choice and so they pursue elusive government jobs that crush their spirit.
Today, a good number of Northeastern kids, including from Nagaland, are doing very well in terms of employment or self-employment in metropolises such as Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore and numerous others across India and even abroad. A lot more would have done the same but for their parents, who insist that they return home, get government jobs, marry into one’s own tribe and settle down here. For most Naga parents, the village is the whole world in which their children have to fit in. Meanwhile, our state government ceaselessly pleads to young people not to pursue government employment because this sector is over-saturated. As an alternative, our state government advocates entrepreneurship. Our state government is addressing the wrong section of society ~ it ought to address the parents. Besides, our state government refuses to see that there is little scope for entrepreneurship in the state and that it has failed to create the necessary climate and culture for entrepreneurship but the government itself doesn’t seem to know what to say to whom.
Anyway, far be it for any journalist to preach about how to bring up children but because journalists have a ring side view of what happens in society, it is apparent that increased commodification of human lives have created cataclysmic chaos in human existence. So in every sphere of human activities ~ political, social, cultural, religious, economic ~ we are muddling around like headless chicken. Our young people are the worst victims of a world that is on a delusionary quest for “success”. But then there are journalists and there are journalists, as evidenced in much ‘evolved’ media of ‘Vikshit Bharat’. So, own your opinion. In any case, no powers-that-be have been divinely mandated to part seas to lead the people to freedom ~ although some may claim divinity. Still, we are most likely going the wrong ways trying to impose in the younger generation what may have worked for us and what we think should and would work for them too. If we really want change and a better world for the young ones, perhaps it would be best for them to find their own ways, part their own seas and define and find their own success.
(The Columnist, a journalist and poet, is Editor, Nagaland Page. Published in the Assam Tribune on October 28, 2024)
